Wednesday, 1 October 2008

How the other half live

I'm involved with a club that runs mainly over the internet, but does meet up from time to time too. We had a small meeting not long ago where my attendance was required, nothing big, just a handful of folk. It was business more than pleasure so it wasn't terrible on a social level, but being among these people…"normal people" without Asperger Syndrome (AS) really drives home just how different we all are.

Despite the fact that we're all part of the same on-line club they all know so much about each other and the lives of other people in the club. There was so much talk about who was doing what, who was saying what and to who, who met with so-and-so at the whatever. Me? I don't even know these people's real names never mind anything else about them. They obviously all spend a lot of time communicating outside of the club, or on "MSN" or "FaceBook" or the other myriad social advances that have left me by. It's not just my lack of social skills that is highlighted, but my complete and utter lack of interest in people. I really don't want to know anything about other people, I have no desire to connect with them.

The worst thing is though…it makes me feel bad, it makes me feel inadequate. I sit alone in my own world dealing with no-one and I'm quite happy. I then meet other people and just how anti-social and barren my life really is, is slapped across my face. I hate meeting people.

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