Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Big Brother again

Apologies for my non-UK readers, and the 99% of UK readers who don't watch Big Brother :)

There are two people who are interesting me this year. Well, three. I am finding Faye interesting as she is quite emotional and seems rather sensitive, but what interests me about her is that when someone does something she doesn't like, or says something that upsets her, she will spend a few minutes on her own and then go and talk to that person to explain what they said/did and how it upset/offended her. I'm the exact opposite; I'm a brooder. I wonder if things would be better and easier if that is how I behaved. I sometimes think that when someone does something to upset me I should say, but every time it does happen, all those thoughts go out the window and I retreat into myself and the shutters come down.

The flip side is that other people seem to be reacting badly to her and think she is too emotional. So is this a better way to behave, or not? Or is there a happy medium?

Aaron is also interesting. I see a lot of myself in him; we both seem to take things very personally and are "sensitive" and easily offended on very deep levels. Like me, he is also a brooder rather than a talker. Again this behaviour is also starting to annoy various other people, mainly with his withdrawn nature.

As well as being deeply offended maybe more easily than I should be, I also see myself as being the only one ever hurt in a situation, and that other people are indifferent and not feeling the hurt that I am. And that seems to deepen my despair. Further I find myself more likely to withdraw from a situation or circle in order to remove myself from the hurting presence, yet the other party never seems to feel the need. Again this piles more onto my misery as I feel that I have to suffer and stop doing things or going places whereas others just don't seem to care. I don't know if they do care and are also hurting but are better at hiding it, or not being affected by it, or if I'm just always being "too sensitive".

Regardless, it seems I always end up the "loser" in any given situation, the one who always has to adjust and suffer, and I see that in Aaron too.

The third thing to interest me is something that I've always suspected, but it is nice to see it played out in flesh and blood. No matter how big a dick you are, as long as you're attractive women will forgive you anything.

1 comment:

Mimi & Sarah said...

I stumbled upon your blog, and I love it. My older brother has aspergers... my mother always suspected he did, but he wasn't diagnosed with aspergers until he was about 22 years old. It was hard for him to handle for a long time, but he has accepted it now, and is enjoying the way he is. He always told me "There is no normal" So thank you for this blog, I am definetly going to send my brother the link of this blog to him. Thanks.

~ Sarah