Monday, 5 September 2011

Everybody hurts

I know that people with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) don't have a monopoly on feeling bad or upset after a break-up, that would be a fairly ridiculous thing to suggest. But I do sometimes wonder if AS affects us in different ways. I wonder if our general inability to handle or express our feelings makes things seem a little worse.

For myself, I get quite strong feelings of persecution. Like everyone is out to twist the knife. I wonder if I'm being too sensitive and maybe taking things people and seeing them in a worse light. I wonder if it is because everything is black or white, and at times likes these everything is just black. Every comment intended to be against me.

Maybe I'm just making excuses, trying to make myself feel better by using my AS as something to blame, when the reality is that this is how everyone feels. Maybe AS doesn't affect my feelings but I do wonder if it affects my actions, the results of how I choose to deal with these feelings.

My sense of persecution just grew and grew and eventually I did some stupid things, said some stupid things and burned a lot of bridges. A lot of them.

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