Sunday, 29 November 2009

Taking care of business

One thing about having Asperger's Syndrome (AS) is that I suffer from really bad procrastination. I'm terrible at "doing" things, be it housework, dealing with bills, or doing things I've promised people I'd do. I don't know why, but to me doing nothing just seems to be a better use of my time. I think it might be because people with AS don't seem to get the pleasure from things that other people do, so find it harder to get motivated to do them. I also never really seem to get the point of doing a lot of things. Why should I be doing this? Why can't I wear the same clothes all week? Why do I need to shower every day? Why can't I leave the dishes in the sink until I need them again? Why do I have to introduce myself to people? Why do I need to change my bedsheets? Why do I have to ask people how they are? Then there are other barriers to "doing things"…do I need to interact with other people? I hate dealing with people over the phone, in fact I hate the phone in general. I have a landline for internet use but I don't actually have a physical phone. I have a mobile but what I love about that is that I can turn it off when I don't feel like communicating.

These issues bring me onto a few lingering jobs that I haven't got around to sorting after about 2 or so years. I had a few services at my last house but one. In other words not where I used to live before I lived here but the place before that. And I never really got around to cancelling them, but I've still been paying for them. I know it probably sounds strange to you, but I'd rather bury my head in the sand than actually "deal" with things, even if it is costing me money. Especially if it means having to use the phone.

While I consider myself to be quite high functioning, it does show me how hard it would be for people with more extreme AS than I have to live alone. To be honest, if it wasn't for direct debits I'd have a much harder time living alone and I'd probably be sat here in the dark with no heating, thinking that one day I guess I should get around to opening those letters. Not only does it remind he how hard it must be for some people with AS to live alone, but also how frustrating and annoying we must all be to share a house with as partners.

Anyway, these un-cancelled services have been on my mind more and more these months and I finally said to myself that I was going to sort it once and for all. I also find I get like that with most things…the motivation to do them builds over time rather than me seeing that something needs to be done so getting on and doing it.

So in the morning I did my usual routine of turning on the TV to watch Mythbusters, fired up the laptop to deal with my e-mail, and I also hunted down some phone numbers and dug out my old address in case I needed it. So I phoned up the one I thought would be easier to deal with as I had the number for the actual branch I needed to deal with. I was on hold for ages which never helps, but I finally got through, chose to leave out some details such as the two year gap in the middle, and luckily their computer systems were good enough that everything went smoothly; they knew who I was, what service I had and they were able to cancel it with no fuss and said they'd even terminate the direct debit their end too (which was good, but I'll still have to check that myself in a few weeks).

So that was a big relief. So big that I was on too much of a high to want to deal with the other service :) I know I promised I'd deal with both, but this is better than nothing and I'll get the other one sorted next weekend…you have to walk before you can run after all. I did make up for it though by also booking a physio/sports injury appointment for next week to get a niggling injury I've had for years finally looked at. So I ended up sorting two things that were years over due, just not the two I had planned on. Roll on next week and I'll get right back on the horse.


LivingLifeBackwards said...

So you have been paying for someone else's electricity or phone for the past two years??

AS-4-L said...

Not that bad :) Internet access that I'm obviously not using, and I was subscribed to a local health service and still paying them the monthly fee. So I've not been paying for other people's things, just stuff I'm no longer using.

I know it sounds insane, but that's life with AS...doing nothing is often better than doing something.

Beastinblack said...

I know exactly what you mean, and it drives NT's who know me (family especially) insane. They think I am lazy and selfish.

Shanti Perez said...

I soooooo could have written this! Wow!

Jasont said...

Yes, why do we do anything at all? It seems people are highly preoccupied with doing something and accomplishing stuff. I don't know, I think it's a societal thing to do, to produce, to consume, etc. And to not get things done makes one a loser, lazy ass, slacker, etc. When all is said and done, a lot of what people do to keep "busy" is really inconsequential. But I suppose our egos enjoy making our lives appear to be more important than it really is in the grand scheme of things. At the end of the day, anything we do has some sort of meaning because our egos gives it meaning. I'm sure there's more to it than that, but I'm really don't feel like using my brain to type out anymore words.,