Monday, 22 November 2010

You will not fix me

The problem with non-visible disabilities like Asperger's Syndrome is that people seem disposed to forgetting about them, and dare I say even deny them. If I had no legs and I got into a relationship with someone they wouldn't think to themselves "Sure he has no legs now, and needs a wheelchair, but after going out with me for a few months he'll grow those legs back." "Sure he's blind now, but once he meets my friends he'll be seeing in no time."

Because no-one can see your disability they soon forget all about it, maybe even think it's an act, but the overall and lasting impression seems to be that you're just shy and just need to come out of your shell. That being dragged here and there and thrown into deep-ends will have you waving and not drowning. As the months drag on they begin to realise that it's not an act, that you'll never change, that this really is just how you are.


Kim said...

Except some people never DO realize. My husband and I have been married for almost 23 years and my mother will still ask, "Why won't he ____?" "Why can't he ____?" "How come he won't______?" My mom loves my husband dearly, and they get along ok, but she will never understand why he does what he does and why he has no desire to try to be like anyone else.

Elizabeth McClung said...

Sadly there are types of people, including parents who refuse to accept (invisabile disabilities) - "there is no depression, there just isn't enough prayer" - and so tend to blame the person who remains the same. But also, there are those who the more they know, the more they adjust - if a woman can have a relationship with Jonathan Swift for several years without EVER touching him, then there is hope.