Monday, 18 January 2010

Damn you, cruel fate!

There's a terrible twist to having Asperger's Syndrome that leads me to believe it was either designed by the devil, or I have been a very bad person in a former life. It goes without saying that I'm not the best face-to-face communicator which makes it all the harder for starting relationships. I can only really meet women in quite controlled circumstances… pubs and clubs are out of the question, as are overly noisy places or places where there are lots of distractions. Hopefully also a place the same woman habituates to allow me to gradually get to know her and work what little charms I have. Now let's throw into the mix the fact that all of my pastimes are either solitary or male-dominated, and it'd be easier finding a bacon sandwich in a mosque than a suitable partner.

My quiver is not entirely devoid of arrows though. Via a focused and controllable medium like e-mail where it is just me, the canvas, and time, I can be quite eloquent. When the social barrier that stops me taking part in the world is not a factor I can let my real self come out, I can express myself and engage with people. I imagine that the way I communicate through e-mail is the way normal people communicate face to face. These keys…these fingers…this is my face.

So at a certain level I am able to stir interest in a member of the opposite sex…but why do we e-mail people in the first place? Because we have no physical access to them, usually because they live far away. And that's the sand in the Vaseline. The one social skill I do have rendered completely useless.


Beastinblack said...

wouldnt it be great if you could click your fingers and the tedious bit just gets out the way and then you can jump in and get on with the stuff that counts...I fear my life will be involuntary celebacy. Difficult thing for a man to admit. them subtle non verbal exchanges just go right over my head, yet they appear to be so important. just like the complexity of nature itself arose from something so simple

AS-4-L said...

I guess the solution might be to date another person with Asperger's. But I really wouldn't want to date one of those freaks.


Beastinblack said...

I think I will stick with my parrot ;)