All routine has gone. Every day is now different in some way. Recently I've been really good and I've been using positivity to stitch my routine together. Monday to Friday is drink free and at the gym. A few drinks at the weekend and then my usual weekend routine. Sober on Sunday ready for Monday. Cleaning, tidying up, shopping, cooking…it all fell into place.
Now I've realised that I wasn't using positivity to stitch my routine together. The positivity came from my routine. My routine harboured and fostered it, teased it to grow and flourish. Now I don't know what the days will bring. Interrogation from co-workers? From my boss about why I'm leaving? Being asked to interview my replacements at the last second? That's for starters…imagine all the new thoughts going on in my head?
Nothing is the same now and I'm yearning to get back to stability but now that routine has rent my positivity asunder I have no motivation for work, I'm not going to the gym, I'm drinking all the time. I know this is just a temporary blip, but I still don't like it.
I successfully negotiated almost two weeks off at the end of my current job with my boss. Now that he has my replacement in the bag I think he's feeling more relaxed about me leaving. Again I'm planning on what to do with my time off, and again I really would like to spend some time touring the country. Maybe spending a few days making my way back to my town of birth. See my parents along the way. Maybe catch up with some other people along the way. Maybe catch up with my "fling" that e-mailed me recently ;) Maybe hook up with all sorts of people on some whirlwind "you can only realistically deal with me for a day anyway" tour.